34.

Graduation means a number of things I am still, as an adult, fully unprepared to deal with:

1. First and foremost, lack of employment. “Thank you, George Bush.” Asshole. Really, your “war on terror” has dropped our dollar into a bullshit currency. The fucking Brits come here to order double-whoppers for the price of a regular Whopper now. Grrr. Now NO ONE wants to hire me.
   
2. How do you pay back student loans without a job?
3. Then this interesting tidbit:

GF’s sister has been dating this guy for 2-3 years now. He tells her “I’m thinking about taking a bar in state Q.” She tells him, “I think we’re over, then.” Guy hangs up. Calls back a bit later and says: “I’m taking your state’s bar in July.” She’s happy. GF is happy too. Me?

I’m totally pissed! LOL That fucking asshole had to set some sort of a romantic precedent like that? He blew 3000 dollars to get test-prepped for this state AND has already passed a different one!

Now, my GF is looking at me like: “See? I always believed in real love-” or “If you get an ultimatum like that, I expect that you’ll crumble too.” The truth is, I could. But I think on principle I would more than likely have to go. Leave the relationship. Quit.

And in truth, I love her. It’s just that I can’t spend the rest of my life with her in my mind yet. Maybe I won’t. I think she and I could both be happier if we weren’t together.

Eh.

Anyhow, for anyone who hasn’t seen http://www.dodgeball.com -I suggest that you sign up. It’s the next level of Myspace/Facebook connectivity in action. Not that I have. I got it out of Clay Shirkey’s HERE COMES EVERYBODY, which is a great read.

I made this great dessert for my last day of class. It was honestly one of the best desserts I have ever made and I HARDLY believe that I legitimately make great desserts. My professor walks in, and noticing that someone had made such a great looking dessert looks over to person XXY (our typical gender-bending lesbian student) and asks if SHE made it. I can’t believe that shit. Someone else, outside of that classroom later told me that ‘if they ARE mad at me because of my status, that I’m doing a great thing by allowing my classmates to be biased and vent against me.’ … Thanks.

Whatever, that parts over. Next up- FINANCES! I could lose some of the money I was promised for Bar Prep. DAMNIT. ASSHOLES.

Whatever. I’m starting to bring myself down here…

I KNOW! CONFESSION TIME!

(I usually feel better after this, anyhow)

I think back to the time that I slept with my ex-girlfriend every now and then and feel like this:

It was wrong, but it was so right too, and it serves her right -as well- because she broke my heart once a long time ago, so if I don’t return her calls, it’s okay, because she’ll understand now how it feels.

Ethics Committee, I really do want to feel that greater sense of love. A Nonymous

Eventually I’ll make a photo for everyone too, I promise.